It was “Bharat Bandh” (India Closed) on Monday 5th July , 2010. The roads were closed, interstate borders were sealed and more so our dear metro was brought to a halt with men jumping down on the track. I was home when my office mate Vishal called. He asked “How are you coming today?” I have just woken up and it was 8:30 am. I had no idea about the “bandh”, just like a chick out of the egg shell does not know what waits outside the shell-it could be his mom, it could be a wiper- what does the chick know? “Like usual”, I said . He next bulged me with a big “HOW?”. I said train and then bus No. 423 direct to our route. He frowned and then said, “They are torching the tyres, they have sealed the inter-state borders and metro will also be closed”. I could only have gasped and next he asked “Now how are you coming?”. What could be more logical in the circumstance he just enumerated? “I am not coming. Tell Boss.”
For now I was not going to office, I slept a little more. Giving rest to my tiring bones from the long night I had yesterday, for the play I attended.
Waking up at 10 am I went to proceed with my daily ablutions. I flushed and a gargoyle sound burbed.” Its clogged!”, I shrieked.
Rest of the “Bharat Bandh” (and a holiday) went down with “Toilet Bandh” for me.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
“You See Me. You Don’t”
I am writing this for Blogadda.com:"Being Invisible"
The contest is sponsored by pringOO.com
“Move faster, You!!”, I cried as trying to make past the way through the busy crowded 8 am Delhi street .
The person it was directed to looked back as at me and as if perplexed by something or like he did not came to find the origination of that sound. It was then I remembered I am invisible at the moment. I clicked back the gadget which I have found the day before. Shaped as a watch it but large for any humane fist it was an odd finding for me. But I bought it thinking it to be a good decoration item for my Mom’s drawing-room, but she hasn’t consented. Its looks horrible where ever you place it, she had claimed and asked me to keep it in my room since I had the stupid mind to waste money such like. “Dare you try and throw it away!”, she had challenged.
Visible to the human eyes now and hearing “Hawww” from passers by, I made a note not to appear so suddenly.
I came to know of this magical and un-natural property of an electronic gadget this very morning as I woke up from my slumber with a hangover of yesterday party. I had found the watch wrapped to my hand, an obvious effect of my drunkenness the other night. I tried to remove it and go to the bathroom, but it was entangled it seemed the wire had protruded and had sunk in the flesh of my knuckles. It pained, so I left the idea for the time being. I went to the bathroom. Bent over to the washbasin and washed my eyes. I moved up to look at my face and expecting to see sullen eyes and bad hairdo. I did not see it. I twisted my face side to side and wondering which position am I standing in. Is it a dream, or am I drunk, or am I standing at all. I looked at my hands they were there, touched my face and it certainly felt. What have happened?
I went to look for my mom, hoping for a scolding with a morning tea. I stood in front of her and she was reciting her mantras. I stood there and she looked up from her Holy book and said, “Wake up Sapphire. I am about to make tea.” I was surprised and asked you can not see me. She looked up again and saw no one, so she got up and went to my room and knocked. I said come in from behind and she startled up but went in. “Are you joking with me!”, she cried finding my bed empty. I looked at the watch clearly now as my mother searched the house for me. I could clearly see a green light blinking in it. I touched it. “There you are. Where were you?”, my mom inquired and I didn’t had words to express my joy at the thing I have just discovered.
Now out of the house and visible and invisible at moments I did not know what to do. In my mind there were thousands of things running on simultaneously. I can be going up in bus and need not pay the fare. I can escape in to the movie theatres and enjoy a movie for free. I could get our term end exams question paper beforehand. I could take food from McDonalds and feed the poor. I could stop people from littering. I could go to any actress and touch her. I could make people do things for me by making them fear me. I could act as a god. I could be like the “Hollow Man”.
The great discoveries bring great responsibilities. This I realized and decided not to let it get on my head. A power that I now had is something no body has. I was thinking in these thoughts and was moving my own way.
“Splash!!!” came a sound and I found myself wet in water from the gutter overflowing on the main road. I shouted behind the car which had caused the slurry water to fly up in the air and I found people around me laughing at an event not at all funny. This enraged me and I started walking fast. Round the corner where no body could see me I pressed the red button on the watch and I was invisible again. I took off all my clothes which were stinking and threw them. Stark naked now, which I found a great advantage of having the gift of invisibility.
Finding no point in going to college now, as I was naked and there would be no chance of making myself visible all the way, I decided to return. But I stopped and turned back.
What if I go to college attend all classes and be there all the time, invisible like air in the atmosphere. I decided to go. Naked and invisible, may be the first ever person in the history of the world but alas would not get registered in ‘World Book Records’, I headed for the bus.
Aboard in a DTC an open space a gap of a human which constantly irked the eyes of the bus conductor. People too were perplexed to see such wide space and not able to occupy. An elderly gentleman seated at the very place where I stood and finding so much space beyond raised his hand to usher people to move forward. His hand raised in goodly action hit my testes with a thud. I fell forward, my hand down to cover my most sensitive, and my head hit his. I shrieked and the elderly gentleman shouted “Ghost” to which no one responded. It made him leave the seat and head out for the door. I finding the seat empty moved to occupy and another man did the same and we collided. I realized this is the bad of being invisible. I could be hit by a car, without anybody’s fault and will never be found.
With a new air of information I de-boarded at the college. In class there was lecture already started and I do not need to ask for any permission. I walked in and took my seat at the end of the class. The lecture as usual was boring about Theories and Financial decisions. I got up from my seat and went to the board picked up the chalk beside the lecturer and wrote on the wall “Bullshit”. There was a gasp as no one saw how such a thing got imprinted on the board. “Its boring”, I shouted which must have brought out real jitters to the class and before the lecturer could have afforded to do something a whole class ran out.
I moved behind the lecturer and notice people were looking, not at him but me. I noticed my hand which were white and the sprinkles of chalk on my penis. This must have made those parts visible. So probably people saw a mass of floating chalk running when I went into the bathroom. There were two others at the urinal. I stood beside them and leaked. I washed the chalk off me.
I went out to the college corridor with water dripping from my hands and seemed visible. This I did not mind. I walked out and into the tutorial room where usually the group of famous and fabulous gathers. I have never been a part of any such group and mine was such who mostly did not preferred to arrive and attend a single lecture. I sat there in a corner listening to these single and couples chatting about a movie. They were it seemed sitting for a while and were not able to get to a decisions. Girls preferring for an Indian movie and Boys in for an English one. It was utterly nonsense and I slapped the boy near at hand and shouted “Idiotic”. They looked about and decided to leave the room.
Alone in the room and finding that being invisible is not that fun as is shown in movies. Though true one can take revenge and use the power to strike and make people do things for you, but in reality they are not doing it for you. One is cheating himself for he is not facing the facts of life. One is not accepting challenge and is invisibly trying to be the king. Thinking all this and realizing how I can use the power of the watch positively rather than negatively I was walking out of the college. “Splash!” a car zoomed by and I was again dripping with water and mud from another pit on the path. This time there was an even higher pitched laughter for a naked man standing on the path drenched in muddy water.
“Damn these MCD first”, was all I could manage.
The contest is sponsored by pringOO.com
“Move faster, You!!”, I cried as trying to make past the way through the busy crowded 8 am Delhi street .
The person it was directed to looked back as at me and as if perplexed by something or like he did not came to find the origination of that sound. It was then I remembered I am invisible at the moment. I clicked back the gadget which I have found the day before. Shaped as a watch it but large for any humane fist it was an odd finding for me. But I bought it thinking it to be a good decoration item for my Mom’s drawing-room, but she hasn’t consented. Its looks horrible where ever you place it, she had claimed and asked me to keep it in my room since I had the stupid mind to waste money such like. “Dare you try and throw it away!”, she had challenged.
Visible to the human eyes now and hearing “Hawww” from passers by, I made a note not to appear so suddenly.
I came to know of this magical and un-natural property of an electronic gadget this very morning as I woke up from my slumber with a hangover of yesterday party. I had found the watch wrapped to my hand, an obvious effect of my drunkenness the other night. I tried to remove it and go to the bathroom, but it was entangled it seemed the wire had protruded and had sunk in the flesh of my knuckles. It pained, so I left the idea for the time being. I went to the bathroom. Bent over to the washbasin and washed my eyes. I moved up to look at my face and expecting to see sullen eyes and bad hairdo. I did not see it. I twisted my face side to side and wondering which position am I standing in. Is it a dream, or am I drunk, or am I standing at all. I looked at my hands they were there, touched my face and it certainly felt. What have happened?
I went to look for my mom, hoping for a scolding with a morning tea. I stood in front of her and she was reciting her mantras. I stood there and she looked up from her Holy book and said, “Wake up Sapphire. I am about to make tea.” I was surprised and asked you can not see me. She looked up again and saw no one, so she got up and went to my room and knocked. I said come in from behind and she startled up but went in. “Are you joking with me!”, she cried finding my bed empty. I looked at the watch clearly now as my mother searched the house for me. I could clearly see a green light blinking in it. I touched it. “There you are. Where were you?”, my mom inquired and I didn’t had words to express my joy at the thing I have just discovered.
Now out of the house and visible and invisible at moments I did not know what to do. In my mind there were thousands of things running on simultaneously. I can be going up in bus and need not pay the fare. I can escape in to the movie theatres and enjoy a movie for free. I could get our term end exams question paper beforehand. I could take food from McDonalds and feed the poor. I could stop people from littering. I could go to any actress and touch her. I could make people do things for me by making them fear me. I could act as a god. I could be like the “Hollow Man”.
The great discoveries bring great responsibilities. This I realized and decided not to let it get on my head. A power that I now had is something no body has. I was thinking in these thoughts and was moving my own way.
“Splash!!!” came a sound and I found myself wet in water from the gutter overflowing on the main road. I shouted behind the car which had caused the slurry water to fly up in the air and I found people around me laughing at an event not at all funny. This enraged me and I started walking fast. Round the corner where no body could see me I pressed the red button on the watch and I was invisible again. I took off all my clothes which were stinking and threw them. Stark naked now, which I found a great advantage of having the gift of invisibility.
Finding no point in going to college now, as I was naked and there would be no chance of making myself visible all the way, I decided to return. But I stopped and turned back.
What if I go to college attend all classes and be there all the time, invisible like air in the atmosphere. I decided to go. Naked and invisible, may be the first ever person in the history of the world but alas would not get registered in ‘World Book Records’, I headed for the bus.
Aboard in a DTC an open space a gap of a human which constantly irked the eyes of the bus conductor. People too were perplexed to see such wide space and not able to occupy. An elderly gentleman seated at the very place where I stood and finding so much space beyond raised his hand to usher people to move forward. His hand raised in goodly action hit my testes with a thud. I fell forward, my hand down to cover my most sensitive, and my head hit his. I shrieked and the elderly gentleman shouted “Ghost” to which no one responded. It made him leave the seat and head out for the door. I finding the seat empty moved to occupy and another man did the same and we collided. I realized this is the bad of being invisible. I could be hit by a car, without anybody’s fault and will never be found.
With a new air of information I de-boarded at the college. In class there was lecture already started and I do not need to ask for any permission. I walked in and took my seat at the end of the class. The lecture as usual was boring about Theories and Financial decisions. I got up from my seat and went to the board picked up the chalk beside the lecturer and wrote on the wall “Bullshit”. There was a gasp as no one saw how such a thing got imprinted on the board. “Its boring”, I shouted which must have brought out real jitters to the class and before the lecturer could have afforded to do something a whole class ran out.
I moved behind the lecturer and notice people were looking, not at him but me. I noticed my hand which were white and the sprinkles of chalk on my penis. This must have made those parts visible. So probably people saw a mass of floating chalk running when I went into the bathroom. There were two others at the urinal. I stood beside them and leaked. I washed the chalk off me.
I went out to the college corridor with water dripping from my hands and seemed visible. This I did not mind. I walked out and into the tutorial room where usually the group of famous and fabulous gathers. I have never been a part of any such group and mine was such who mostly did not preferred to arrive and attend a single lecture. I sat there in a corner listening to these single and couples chatting about a movie. They were it seemed sitting for a while and were not able to get to a decisions. Girls preferring for an Indian movie and Boys in for an English one. It was utterly nonsense and I slapped the boy near at hand and shouted “Idiotic”. They looked about and decided to leave the room.
Alone in the room and finding that being invisible is not that fun as is shown in movies. Though true one can take revenge and use the power to strike and make people do things for you, but in reality they are not doing it for you. One is cheating himself for he is not facing the facts of life. One is not accepting challenge and is invisibly trying to be the king. Thinking all this and realizing how I can use the power of the watch positively rather than negatively I was walking out of the college. “Splash!” a car zoomed by and I was again dripping with water and mud from another pit on the path. This time there was an even higher pitched laughter for a naked man standing on the path drenched in muddy water.
“Damn these MCD first”, was all I could manage.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
A Letter with anticipation
Respected User,
After a long wait of three wide months and witnessing life’s most exciting events a thing like me could never have experienced otherwise, I now write to you with a request.
I have been there for three months as I have told you. The time you spent at home and I in your wallet. The time you had lunch, I in your pocket. Yes, I am the condom you haven’t used till today.
Packed by my father and baptized as ‘Kamasutra’ I was bought by you three months ago. I came along with my two brothers. Both of which were privileged to be of use to you. But I still sat in your wallet, the longest wait.
Sitting in your wallet we three, months ago went first to a place, which I came to know was your home. Then you dressed nicely and kept us (well the wallet) in your pant’s pocket; back on your arse. We did not saw anything but muffled voices reached us as you sat on your wallet. We realized soon you were with someone. Someone, on whom one of us will be assisting you. A project in hand we all three got excited. Anticipating who will go for the first time. Well it wasn’t me so I do not know how it feels.
Thereafter for days we sat in your wallet thus waiting. You taking us out of the house each day and we ‘wondering if this is the day’ were dragged along. You met other people and we were excited. You talked and we listened. It seemed that our use is at hand but alas I came to know it was called ‘flirting’.
Then the good day came and a female you dinned with like before. Then you went to someplace other than your home. You took off your wallet and we were able to witness from the podium in the room. You took off your trousers and she took off her clothes too. We were hot in your wallet with anticipation. Alas! it was my brother and not me that you used for your assistance.
Now its been three months and I am still in your wallet. I have witnessed most of your life. And know that those two women my brothers assisted you with were not same. Now I write this to you in hope of being ‘USED’.
Thanking you,
Yours,
Condom,
from wallet
After a long wait of three wide months and witnessing life’s most exciting events a thing like me could never have experienced otherwise, I now write to you with a request.
I have been there for three months as I have told you. The time you spent at home and I in your wallet. The time you had lunch, I in your pocket. Yes, I am the condom you haven’t used till today.
Packed by my father and baptized as ‘Kamasutra’ I was bought by you three months ago. I came along with my two brothers. Both of which were privileged to be of use to you. But I still sat in your wallet, the longest wait.
Sitting in your wallet we three, months ago went first to a place, which I came to know was your home. Then you dressed nicely and kept us (well the wallet) in your pant’s pocket; back on your arse. We did not saw anything but muffled voices reached us as you sat on your wallet. We realized soon you were with someone. Someone, on whom one of us will be assisting you. A project in hand we all three got excited. Anticipating who will go for the first time. Well it wasn’t me so I do not know how it feels.
Thereafter for days we sat in your wallet thus waiting. You taking us out of the house each day and we ‘wondering if this is the day’ were dragged along. You met other people and we were excited. You talked and we listened. It seemed that our use is at hand but alas I came to know it was called ‘flirting’.
Then the good day came and a female you dinned with like before. Then you went to someplace other than your home. You took off your wallet and we were able to witness from the podium in the room. You took off your trousers and she took off her clothes too. We were hot in your wallet with anticipation. Alas! it was my brother and not me that you used for your assistance.
Now its been three months and I am still in your wallet. I have witnessed most of your life. And know that those two women my brothers assisted you with were not same. Now I write this to you in hope of being ‘USED’.
Thanking you,
Yours,
Condom,
from wallet
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